The Relationship Didn't Work. Why Shouldn't I Be Mad?

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     We have ALL been part of relationships that did not work out the way we planned. We've experienced the hope of possibility, the brokenness of unmet expectations, and struggled with the realness of unforgiveness it leaves. 
     Why does unforgiveness hit us so hard in relationships? 
     I believe part of it is because the person did not become what we wanted and the relationship did not materialize the way we believed it should. And simply put...it hurts...and somebody was on the other end of that hurt. Intentionally or unintentionally the person hit us with the dizzying blow of disappointment. 
     As I work through my own wilderness journey of faith that includes such a tough part of unforgiveness, I was reminded of a few thoughts. First, "forgiveness is between you and God" (T.Hegg). I don't typically feel like forgiving. I have to work at it and...work some more. Struggle. Fall. Succeed. And when unforgiveness creeps up again (and it does and will); fight it some more until the victory is complete. 
     Second (this is equally as difficult), I have to trust God enough to love AND not despise the person because the relationship never materialized into the picture I drew. I have to work to trust the picture God is weaving. That means I must settle my heart in His love, His constancy, His faithfulness, His holiness, His justice, His compassion. Check out Genesis 45 & 50 for an incredible view of forgiveness through the lens of "what you meant for evil; God meant for good..." 
     He is good and He is FOR us. So as we struggle through the reality of broken relationships and the unforgiveness they can bring, may we be earnest and disciplined to trust God enough that through the wounds of brokenness He fashions the healing bandage. 

     Stay Empowered. Stay Encouraged. 
     

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