Why Are So Many Great Women Single? Part 1
It's the holiday season. Which means lots of great food, football, and the greatest gift--family. But, as we (talking to us single ladies here) all know with family gatherings also comes that age old question, "So have you found a man yet?" Ahhhh! If you haven't heard this well-intentioned question yet; just wait...you will.
Many, if not all, of us have been asked at some time and in some fashion, "Awww you're so amazing why hasn't some man swept you off your feet yet?" Well, the funny thing is that many of us are also asking the same question.
I am in a career field with hard-working, intelligent, resourceful, beautiful, and hands down AMAZING women; many of which are single. What I can't seem to figure out is...why.
After countless discussions and vented frustrations, the single (not meant as a pun) most important question boils down to, "Why are so many great women single?"
Possibly the best way to attempt to answer such a multi-faceted question is to define the term "single" and what a "great woman" is.
Single meaning one who is not in committed relationship (the kind of dating that leads to marriage; not the "Oh we're just talking" one).
Now, to define a "great woman." First, this must be prefaced with the understanding that there are many great women in every walk of life, but for the purposes of this piece a "great woman" is defined as a woman who "has herself together." A woman who has a good heart, is educated, has a career, ambitious, and has means to get what she needs. It is the woman who has graduated from the realm of merely wanting/having a boyfriend to understanding that what she really needs and wants is-- a husband.
Now, that the large parts of the question are defined it is time and necessary to move on and attempt to answer such a proverbial question. But, before doing so one more thing...I believe it is right to explain my reasons for asking and attempting to answer such a question. I ask the question first because it has been asked to me many times in various contexts. Second, I promised one of my work-out buddies I would. Third, to share some of the godly insight and encouragement that I have received from my wonderful mom and many other mentors in my journey.
Many, if not all, of us have been asked at some time and in some fashion, "Awww you're so amazing why hasn't some man swept you off your feet yet?" Well, the funny thing is that many of us are also asking the same question.
I am in a career field with hard-working, intelligent, resourceful, beautiful, and hands down AMAZING women; many of which are single. What I can't seem to figure out is...why.
After countless discussions and vented frustrations, the single (not meant as a pun) most important question boils down to, "Why are so many great women single?"
Possibly the best way to attempt to answer such a multi-faceted question is to define the term "single" and what a "great woman" is.
Single meaning one who is not in committed relationship (the kind of dating that leads to marriage; not the "Oh we're just talking" one).
Now, to define a "great woman." First, this must be prefaced with the understanding that there are many great women in every walk of life, but for the purposes of this piece a "great woman" is defined as a woman who "has herself together." A woman who has a good heart, is educated, has a career, ambitious, and has means to get what she needs. It is the woman who has graduated from the realm of merely wanting/having a boyfriend to understanding that what she really needs and wants is-- a husband.
Now, that the large parts of the question are defined it is time and necessary to move on and attempt to answer such a proverbial question. But, before doing so one more thing...I believe it is right to explain my reasons for asking and attempting to answer such a question. I ask the question first because it has been asked to me many times in various contexts. Second, I promised one of my work-out buddies I would. Third, to share some of the godly insight and encouragement that I have received from my wonderful mom and many other mentors in my journey.
I have to respectfully disagree how you define "great woman", also to be perfectly honest many, if not most women don't know what they want. They may think they do but really they don't, heck half of marriages end in divorce and the other half that stays together, half of them are forever stuck in marriage counseling. Biblical manhood and womanhood has very little value in our society and that has its consequences.
ReplyDeleteGrace and Peace,
Charles Woods
Charles thanks for your post!
ReplyDeleteFirst, the definition of "great woman" is given from our culture's vantage point...at this time. As you continue to read the subsequent parts you will see how HaShem challenges even these "great women" to step the game up and be transformed into "women of G-D." The premise for this is Genesis 24. It's quite amazing--HaShem's plan, purpose, and potential that He's so graciously given. Further, many single professional women know what they want, but may have difficulty ascertaining what they need. Finally, your definition of "biblical manhood and womanhood" quite honestly is worse than our culture's limited perspective on woman/manhood. Why?-because the "biblical manhood/womanhood" that you speak of is a manhood/womanhood void of the Bible it claims to embrace. You cannot be a "biblical" man or woman if you divorce practicing Torah from the rest of the Bible. For example, many couples are in the counseling as you said earlier, because they do not simply obey HaShem's family purity commandments--which leaves for no mystery, pursuit, or passion in marriage. When couples disobey G-D or believe that His entire Word is up for debate or His commandments are options then they can expect to have marriage challenges increased exponentially. There ofcourse is much more to be said, but for now I'll leave it here. Keep reading...it will be worth it! Thanks and have a wonderful thanksgiving!
(Shaking my head) false accusation Brandy, but Anywho your right that "career women" have shopping list and it can be a bit ridiculous sometimes. I would submit to you that many "career minded , Ms. independent woman" have been influenced by the lies of feminism and simply don't know what a man is. Also i have seen that often their "shopping list" is usually unbiblical, thus they lock themselves out from the sacrificial love, passion, romance, leadership etc... They desire from a man.
ReplyDeleteGrace and Peace,
Charles Woods
Charles, thank you for your post! So, you have yet to define G-D's definition of a "biblical man/woman." Please don't hesitate to do so. The L-RD calls us to be "holy as He is holy." But, unfortunately as sinful people, we like to define that on our own terms instead of His. As always, I encourage you to glean from His perspective, His Word. You've mentioned "unbiblical" a few times and yet haven't defined it from HaShem's Word. Please also feel free to do that as well. In the end, what we see is that when men and women "pick and choose" what they want to obey (based on the assumption that they set the terms for relationship with G-D) then bigger problems in the relationship are inevitable. A life of fulfilled blessing in marriage is built on obedience to HaShem's Word. Remember, "And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments." I John 2:3. And His commandments are NOT burndensome...in fact they are life! Baruch HaShem! Once again, keep reading it will be worth it! Thanks again!
ReplyDeleteBest,
Brandy G